Another place where you and I desperately need God’s wisdom is in our homes.

Children need wisdom in how they respond to their parents. Parents need wisdom in raising their children. Husbands and wives need wisdom in how they treat each other. And ultimately, the entire family needs wisdom in how we relate to God.

Proverbs says:

“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.”

The principle is powerful: the way you and I live today can influence the generation that comes after us.

When righteousness, wisdom, and faithfulness become part of our homes, our children can benefit from what they see and learn. And if we did not grow up in a faithful or wise family, that does not mean the same pattern has to continue.

You and I can chart a new course.

We can break destructive cycles.

We can decide that from this point forward, God will be at the center of our homes.

It’s Not Too Late to Change the Direction of Our Homes

Maybe we look at our families and recognize that things are not what they should be.

Maybe God has not been the center.

Maybe as parents we haven’t provided the example we should have.

Maybe our marriages are struggling.

Maybe our children have not received the spiritual instruction they need.

We don’t have to pretend everything has been perfect.

There may even be times when parents need to tell their children, “I haven’t been setting the example I should have been setting.”

But then we can make a decision:

That changes today.

Joshua famously declared:

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

You and I can make that same commitment.

We cannot control every decision another family member will make, but we can decide what direction we are going to pursue.

We are going to do things God’s way.

Our Homes Need God’s Wisdom

The message of Proverbs challenges us to compare God’s wisdom with the values we see around us.

Rather than simply accepting whatever our culture says about marriage, parenting, discipline, success, or family relationships, you and I should ask:

What does God say?

And then we need to examine the fruit produced by different ways of living.

Are our marriages becoming healthier?

Are our children learning wisdom, discipline, integrity, and respect?

Are we producing homes filled with peace and faithfulness?

The standard for you and me should not simply be what is popular.

Our standard should be God’s wisdom.

A Spouse Can Have a Tremendous Impact on the Home

When Proverbs speaks about marriage, one important theme is the tremendous influence a husband or wife can have—for good or for bad.

Solomon says:

“Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”

He also says:

“Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman.”

Solomon is speaking to his sons, so he frames the warning around the wife they might choose. But the principle can apply in either direction.

An angry, negative, argumentative, or untrustworthy spouse can fill a home with misery.

You and I should never underestimate how much our attitudes affect the atmosphere of our homes.

We can turn our homes into places of peace.

Or we can turn them into places everyone wants to escape.

A Good Spouse Is a Tremendous Blessing

Proverbs also gives us the positive side:

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband.”

Choosing a spouse is therefore one of the most consequential decisions a person can make.

And Proverbs 31 gives us a beautiful picture of a woman whose life has been shaped by wisdom.

She fears the Lord.

She works diligently.

She cares for her family.

She helps the poor.

She speaks with kindness.

Her husband and children praise her.

Now imagine a husband living according to those same principles—fearing God, working diligently, speaking with kindness, acting with integrity, and caring faithfully for his family.

That’s the kind of home you and I should desire.

Not a perfect home filled with perfect people.

A wise home filled with people who are trying to live God’s way.

Parents Need to Know Where They’re Aiming

Parenting is difficult.

You and I can genuinely love our children and still wonder whether we are doing things correctly.

Are we disciplining enough?

Are we being too harsh?

Are we being too lenient?

Why does something work with one child but not another?

Are we preparing them adequately for adulthood?

Proverbs does not give parents a script for every possible situation. Instead, it gives us something incredibly important:

It gives us a target.

And if our target is wrong, even excellent parenting techniques can send our children in the wrong direction.

Success Is Not the Ultimate Goal

Maybe our primary goal is academic achievement.

We want our children to make excellent grades, earn scholarships, attend good universities, establish successful careers, and become financially secure.

Those can all be good things.

Maybe athletics is our focus because sports can teach teamwork, discipline, perseverance, and how to handle winning and losing.

Those can be valuable lessons too.

But Proverbs reminds you and me that neither academic success nor athletic success should be our highest goal.

Our primary aim should be directing our children toward God.

We can raise a child who becomes academically brilliant and spiritually foolish.

We can raise an outstanding athlete who does not fear God.

We can raise a financially successful adult who lacks integrity.

If that happens, we need to ask whether we were aiming at the most important target.

“My Son, Listen”

Throughout the early chapters of Proverbs, Solomon repeatedly says:

“My son…”

Again and again, he asks his children to listen.

And then he teaches them how to navigate the real world.

He teaches about authority.

He teaches the fear of God.

He teaches discernment and discretion.

He teaches about temptation.

He warns about sexual immorality.

He talks about peer pressure.

He teaches priorities, obedience, integrity, and consequences.

This is not random parenting advice. Within the sermon’s framing, it is wisdom from God being passed from a father to his children.

Proverbs begins:

“My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.”

Later Solomon says:

“My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother.”

The picture is of parents continually teaching their children how to live.

Parents Have to Talk to Their Children

This is where the lesson becomes very practical.

You and I need to talk to our children.

Not just when they get in trouble.

Not just when there is a crisis.

Not just during one scheduled conversation about something important.

We need an ongoing relationship in which wisdom is continually being passed down.

This reflects the pattern in Deuteronomy 6, where parents are instructed to teach God’s words throughout everyday life.

Spiritual formation cannot simply be outsourced.

Schools have a role.

Churches can help.

Sunday school teachers can help.

But according to the message, the primary responsibility belongs to parents.

Parenting is not something we check off our calendar after having one serious conversation.

We are in it for the long haul.

Train Up a Child

Perhaps the most familiar proverb about parenting says:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Training requires time.

It requires repetition.

It requires patience.

It requires showing children not only what is wrong, but what is right.

Children usually don’t learn life’s most important lessons from one lecture.

You and I may have to say the same thing many times and in many different ways.

Solomon models this beautifully.

When warning his sons about sexual immorality, for example, he uses vivid pictures.

He describes it like walking on hot coals.

Like an ox going to slaughter.

Like a deer stepping into a trap.

Like a bird caught in a snare.

Like traveling down a road toward a grave.

Why all the different pictures?

Because sometimes you and I need to communicate the same truth in different ways until our children can truly see it.

Share What Life Has Taught Us

You and I should also be willing to teach our children from our own experiences.

Tell them what we have learned.

Tell them about mistakes we have made.

Tell them what those mistakes cost us.

And when something happens in real time, use it as an opportunity to teach.

Life constantly gives parents teachable moments.

But there is something even more powerful than what our children hear from us: what they see in us.

Imagine telling our children about patience and then allowing them to watch us practice patience when we are frustrated.

Imagine teaching them about honesty, then letting them see us tell the truth even when lying would be easier.

Imagine teaching them about forgiveness and then letting them watch us forgive.

Imagine teaching them about prayer while they actually see us pray.

Our example gives our words credibility.

What our children see may speak louder than anything we tell them.

Training Should Come Before Discipline

Proverbs also speaks plainly about discipline.

The sermon cites several passages about the “rod of correction,” explaining the rod through the imagery of a shepherd using it to guide and steer away from danger. It presents discipline as part of loving parental responsibility while also citing Paul’s warning that fathers must not provoke their children to wrath.

That balance matters.

Discipline should not be uncontrolled anger.

It should not be cruelty.

It should not simply be punishment for punishment’s sake.

The goal is correction and training.

And there is an especially important principle:

Training should precede discipline.

If you and I have never clearly taught a child what is expected, disciplining them for failing to meet that expectation is unlikely to be productive.

We first teach.

We explain.

We model.

We reinforce.

And when correction becomes necessary, it should serve the larger purpose of helping the child learn wisdom.

Don’t Provoke Your Children to Wrath

Paul tells children:

“Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

But he also tells fathers:

“Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

Parents have authority, but that authority carries responsibility.

You and I should not discipline merely because our pride has been offended.

We should not correct children simply to release our own frustration.

If our discipline continually produces anger without producing understanding or change, we need to examine what we are doing.

The goal is not merely to control behavior for the moment.

The goal is to train the heart toward wisdom.

The Next Generation Is Watching Us

This brings us back to where we started:

“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.”

What you and I do in our homes today can reach beyond today.

Our children are watching how we handle conflict.

They are watching how husbands and wives treat each other.

They are watching whether our Christianity exists only at church or actually shapes life at home.

They are watching how we handle money.

They are watching how we work.

They are watching how we speak.

They are watching how we respond when we’re wrong.

They are watching whether God truly has first place.

And someday, many of them will carry what they learned into homes of their own.

As for Me and My House

So you and I should ask some important questions.

Is God truly at the center of our home?

Are we treating our spouse with wisdom, kindness, and respect?

Are we intentionally teaching our children about God and about life?

Are we modeling what we’re teaching?

Are we training before we discipline?

Are we aiming primarily at worldly success, or are we aiming our children toward God?

And if we don’t like our answers, it isn’t too late to change direction.

Maybe the cycle has existed for generations.

Maybe we didn’t have good examples growing up.

Maybe we have already made mistakes.

We cannot change yesterday.

But we can decide what direction we are going to travel today.

You and I can say:

From this point forward, we’re going to seek God’s wisdom for our home.

We will teach.

We will model.

We will correct.

We will encourage.

We will forgive.

We will keep learning.

And above everything else, we will point our families toward God.

Because if you and I want the best possible foundation for our marriages, our children, and the generations that follow us, Proverbs points us back to the same principle again and again:

Live God’s way.

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

That’s wisdom for the home.