The Bible has a great deal to say about what comes out of our mouths because our words have tremendous power.
You and I can use our words to bless, encourage, counsel, and build up people. But those same mouths can also lie, deceive, gossip, slander, quarrel, curse, and tear people down.
James describes the tongue as “an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” He also reminds Christians that blessing and cursing should not come from the same mouth.
If you and I claim to follow Jesus, there should be consistency between our faith and our speech.
Proverbs gives us extensive wisdom on this subject because our words do more than communicate information. They reveal what is happening inside our hearts.
Our Words Reveal Our Hearts
Solomon teaches that a wise heart produces wise speech, while a foolish heart produces careless and destructive words.
Jesus taught the same principle:
“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”
In other words, our mouths eventually reveal us.
You and I may be able to control our words for a little while, especially when we want to make a good impression. But eventually, what fills our hearts begins coming out through our mouths.
If our hearts are filled with bitterness, bitterness will eventually appear in our words.
If our hearts are filled with pride, pride will eventually speak.
If our hearts are filled with anger, anger will eventually reveal itself.
But if our hearts are filled with love, kindness, truth, patience, and wisdom, those qualities should also become evident in the way we speak.
That is why Solomon says:
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”
You and I cannot separate the condition of our hearts from the condition of our speech.
God Takes Our Words Seriously
Jesus gives us an even stronger reason to think carefully before we speak:
“For every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.”
Our words matter to God.
Solomon says:
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
That is an enormous amount of power.
Words can strengthen someone who is struggling.
Words can restore hope.
Words can communicate truth.
Words can help repair relationships.
But words can also destroy reputations, friendships, marriages, families, and congregations.
So you and I need to ask:
What are we doing with the power God has placed in our mouths?
The Mouth of the Wicked
Proverbs 10:11 introduces two very different kinds of speech:
“The mouth of the righteous is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked.”
Solomon repeatedly warns you and me about the mouth of the wicked.
One of its characteristics is dishonesty.
He says:
“Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put perverse lips far from you.”
Proverbs also lists seven things God hates, including “a lying tongue” and “a false witness who speaks lies.”
That should get our attention.
God hates deception.
You and I Must Be People of Truth
Why is lying so serious?
One reason is that lies distort reality.
As God’s people, you and I should love truth because God is a God of truth.
Lying also destroys trust.
If people cannot trust our ordinary words, why should they trust us when we speak about spiritual things?
You and I cannot praise God with our mouths, tell people about the gospel with our mouths, and then casually use those same mouths to deceive others.
Our credibility matters.
Solomon says:
“The truthful lip shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.”
And then:
“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.”
You and I should want to delight God.
That means we should become people whose words can be trusted.
Lies Carry Practical Consequences
Dishonesty also brings practical consequences.
People lose jobs because they lie.
People damage marriages because they lie.
People lose friendships because they lie.
People can even face legal consequences because they lie.
And once someone becomes known as dishonest, rebuilding trust can be incredibly difficult.
Solomon warns:
“A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who speaks lies shall perish.”
A lie may appear convenient in the moment, but it can create a much larger problem later.
And there is another uncomfortable truth: lying to someone is not an act of love.
Solomon says:
“A lying tongue hates those who are crushed by it.”
If you and I genuinely love people, we should want to deal truthfully with them.
Words Really Do Hurt
Many of us grew up hearing:
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
But that simply isn’t true.
Words can hurt deeply.
Solomon says:
“There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword.”
Words can cut.
Gossip can damage someone’s reputation.
Slander can destroy relationships.
Harsh criticism can stay in someone’s mind for years.
Cruel words spoken by a parent can follow a child into adulthood.
Words spoken carelessly between spouses can create wounds that are difficult to heal.
And a whisperer, Solomon tells us, can even separate the best of friends.
James compares the tongue to a small fire capable of setting an entire forest ablaze.
A single sentence can sometimes start a conflict that affects dozens of people.
So you and I should never underestimate the destructive power of careless speech.
The Mouth of the Righteous Gives Life
But Proverbs doesn’t merely tell us what not to say.
It gives us a beautiful picture of what our words can become.
Solomon says:
“Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.”
He says:
“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life.”
And:
“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.”
Think about the opportunity you and I have.
Our words can make someone’s burden a little lighter.
We can encourage someone who feels defeated.
We can thank someone who feels unappreciated.
We can comfort someone who is hurting.
We can counsel someone who is confused.
We can tell someone we love them.
We can remind someone that their life matters.
Our mouths can become wells of life.
Start With the People Closest to You
There is an especially important challenge here for you and me.
It can sometimes be easier to speak kindly to strangers, coworkers, church members, and acquaintances than to the people in our own homes.
But our spouses, children, family members, and closest friends should not continually receive the worst version of us while everyone else receives the best.
You and I cannot spend our time encouraging people publicly while constantly tearing down our families privately.
Proverbs 31 describes the virtuous woman this way:
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”
What a beautiful description.
Imagine if that could be said about you and me:
The law of kindness is on our tongues.
Wisdom Knows When Not to Speak
Being wise with our mouths does not merely mean saying good things.
Sometimes wisdom means saying nothing at all.
Solomon says:
“Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.”
He also says:
“In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”
And:
“A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.”
That is extremely practical wisdom.
You and I do not need to verbalize every thought.
We don’t have to respond to every insult.
We don’t have to join every argument.
We don’t have to share every piece of information we know.
We don’t have to express every emotion the instant we feel it.
Sometimes the wisest thing you and I can do is simply close our mouths.
Solomon even says:
“Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace.”
There are moments when silence is wisdom.
A Soft Answer Can Stop a Fight
Wisdom also considers how we speak.
Solomon says:
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
You and I have probably watched arguments escalate simply because neither person was willing to lower the temperature.
One person raises their voice.
The other raises theirs.
One insult leads to another.
Pride takes over, and suddenly the original disagreement is no longer even the main issue.
A wise person recognizes that winning an argument is not always worth destroying peace.
Sometimes a gentle response can stop a conflict before it grows.
That does not mean you and I can never disagree or correct someone.
It means we should learn to respond without becoming foolish ourselves.
Don’t Become a Fool While Answering One
Proverbs gives us two statements that initially appear contradictory:
“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him.”
Then:
“Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.”
The wisdom is in knowing which situation requires which response.
Sometimes you and I should simply walk away because responding would pull us down into foolishness.
But there are other times when foolishness needs to be exposed and corrected.
Even then, however, we should not become foolish ourselves.
We don’t answer insults with insults.
We don’t answer cruelty with cruelty.
We don’t answer lies with lies.
We should respond in a way that reflects who we are as God’s people.
Be Intentional With Your Words
The larger lesson from Proverbs is that you and I need to become measured, thoughtful, and intentional about what comes out of our mouths.
Solomon says:
“A word spoken in due season, how good it is!”
He says:
“The lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.”
And:
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”
The right words, spoken in the right way, at the right time, can be incredibly valuable.
So before you and I speak, it would be wise to ask:
Is it true?
Does it need to be said?
Is this the right time to say it?
Am I saying it in the right way?
Will these words help or unnecessarily hurt?
Do these words reflect the heart of someone who follows Christ?
Let Your Speech Be Filled With Grace
Paul gives us a beautiful summary:
“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”
That’s the standard you and I should pursue.
Not careless speech.
Not hypocritical speech.
Not gossip.
Not deception.
Not uncontrolled anger.
Not words designed to humiliate and destroy.
Grace.
You and I should use our mouths to speak truth, encourage the discouraged, counsel the confused, correct with wisdom, praise God, and build up the people around us.
And when nothing good needs to be said, sometimes wisdom tells us to remain silent.
Our words reveal our hearts.
Our words affect other people.
And Jesus reminds us that our words matter to God.
So you and I should guard our hearts and guard our mouths.
Before we speak, let’s remember:
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
Let’s choose words that give life.
That’s wisdom for living God’s way.